frustration

i hate copying and pasting verbatim but when i read this, i thought i found my long lost twin. this is EXACTLY how i feel and i don't see it letting up anytime soon :(















http://www.weddingbee.com/2009/04/23/confession-of-a-ringzilla/

here are some highlights:
"Growing up, upon finding out about something fun I were going to do in the near future, I used to make myself sick with excitement. I suspect it’s the same with many children, but I’ve never really grown out of it. Instead of a stomach ache, adult me just gets really, really obsessed with the matter at hand. Say, for example, Mr. Mary Jane and I had decided to get a kitten, but we wouldn’t get him for a month. I’d spend that whole month reading everything there is to know about kittens, looking at pictures of kittens, visiting kittens in the humane society, talking to kitten-owners about their vets, and buying cute crap for the kitten to play with when it arrived. I’d probably even make color-coded kitten-related charts. I like to be in control, and I like to plan. And when I can’t get what I want right now, I want to know when I will get it so that I can prepare. I have no excuse for this; it’s a flaw of mine. (And yes, I’m an only child. What gave it away?)

This surprise-engagement thing really bothered me. Again, I wasn’t after the ring, but it was symbolic for the next step to come. I was confused as to why Mr. Mary Jane didn’t want us to be engaged right away. I wondered how long I’d have to wait. I’m generally a “glass-half-empty” person, especially when it comes to matters concerning my character. I wondered what was wrong with me. Was he thinking twice about our future? (I have NO reason to suspect this.) Why wasn’t he as excited to get engaged as I was? I kept pushing the subject. I got annoying. I tried to get him to talk about wedding styles. About guest lists. I sent him links to wedding stuff. He was pretty tolerant, but I knew I shouldn’t be bugging him so much. I was being dumb. I knew it meant a lot to him to do the proposal his own way, on his own time. But I couldn’t let it drop.

I got pushier and pushier as time passed. Valentine’s day came and went, but not without me wondering if maybe he had the ring - maybe it was somehow possible. He gave me a beautiful pink marquise ring for my right hand for Valentine’s Day (along with other thoughtful gifts).

I started to get angry about the whole situation. I am the first to admit that I have traditional values regarding family. I would love to be a housewife, I love when Mr. Mary Jane does manly things for me to help me out (even though I’m quite capable), and I love being ’taken care of’ by him. But this proposal thing had my feminist waters boiling. Weren’t we supposed to be doing this as equals? As a couple? Why did HE get to see the ring? Why should HE get to choose when to propose? It just made me jealous and mad. I felt like he was stringing me along, teasing me, or maybe even trying to teach me a lesson about patience. It was bringing out the worst in me."

you should read the whole thing. i was going to write my own but i don't write as eloquently as she does. i feel even worse than this, if you can imagine that, because we haven't even done the ring shopping! i am getting extremely frustrated which i know is not fair to him but i don't care! i think i'm starting to get really depressed about this whole thing. :(

and what ms. mary jane said about the whole equality thing really struck a chord in me. i got upset over this same matter a few weekends ago at my boyfriend. and i still really don't think it's fair. why is he making all the decisions? why am i not involved? i think i would feel a little better if he spoke to me about it but he doesn't. and when you think about it, traditionally the guy doesn't necessarily know if the girl is going to say yes. since he does know, i feel its unfair for him to keep me waiting for so long! both he and i know we're going to get married, what's the holdup?

grr. i know im crazy. but i can't help myself.

more pies

i don't know why i'm so obsessed with pies. my boyfriend mentioned he would rather have a pie than a cake for the wedding so why not do some research...

how cute are these bite sized pies! love them.

found these via oh happy day who found them here

silhouettelry

oh my goodness, i just found the CUTEST necklace that i need to buy as soon as i get my paycheck tomorrow :)






















Meg Moorhouse, designer from Brooklyn, CUSTOM makes these silhouette necklaces in sterling silver, 18k gold vermeil, or 14k solid gold with a 16 inch chain to match. you send in a digital image of your desired silhouette and your new necklace will arrive within 4 weeks. she will also do personalized engravings on the charm.

now i can wear my boyfriend around my neck all day, every day :)

this could be a great bridesmaids' gift too... give them a silhouette of themselves as necklaces- is that weird? to wear your own silhouette around your neck?

buy these for $148 at candy store collective

tunes

i've been debating whether i should have a dj or just an ipod play during the reception. i know for sure that i want a 4 string quartet to play during the ceremony but the reception...who knows. here are my pros and cons:

ipod-
pro:
-we choose the music/playlist (babe is very big into music and is very stubborn when it comes to his playlists)
- free!

con:
-someone has to press play, pause, stop during any speeches etc. this alone gives me anxiety attacks.
-there's no one to feel the mood of the crowd so what if when everyone is eating you hear a crazy, obnoxious dance song? or an extremely mellow sad song when people are in the mood to dance?

dj-
pro:
- there is a person to feel the mood of the crowd, and can help people get pumped up/pumped down during certain times. this will help so i'm not out there dancing by myself!
- this person will control all of the audio levels during the speeches, etc.
-i won't have to worry if people liked my choices in music!

con:
-money
-what if he/she sucks

i actually found a wedding dj who has his own blog which you can find here.
he posts his playlists on his blog and so far the music seems pretty good. i've posted samples below. he also creates monthly compilation cds and sends them out to anyone who asks. i hope to get mine in may. once i do, i'll let you know if its any good.

a sample playlist for the cocktail hour/dinner:























for the dance party/reception:























found these here

bridesmaids

Just an inquiry, am I obligated to have my boyfriend's sister as a bridesmaid?

I see her once a year, if that! She's very nice but I would hardly call her a friend, more like an acquaintance. I don't want to be rude or cause any hostility to my future in-laws but I already have my 4 maids picked out! And since I want a small wedding (50-100),I feel silly having so many people standing around.

I talked to my boyfriend about this and he kinda got upset about it. I didn't even think he cared since he and his sister aren't all that close.

I think I'll just have to suck it up and do it. :(

hello!

hello world!

welcome to my blog. 

let me start at the beginning (i promise it will be short as i tend to ramble when i write!). my name is crystal and I am NOT engaged...yet! I have been going out with my boyfriend for 6 years, i know right!? and i am just waiting for the day when he finally proposes. until then i've decided to dabble in a little wedding research. at first it was just for fun to see if i could come up with any location ideas, then it evolved into a full blown obsession. so here i am now creating my first blog devoted to weddings. i've read plenty of other blogs and decided i would like to write my own, mainly to store all of the research, imagery, inspiration, ideas in one central location that i can keep organized and share with friends and anyone else who is interested (hopefully potential new friends :) )

since this is my first blog ever, i apologize in advance for any blogging etiquette i might mess up or my rambling!

oh also, i plan to recruit friends who are like me, not yet engaged but obsessed, and friends who are engaged and in the midst of wedding planning to become frequent writers in this post. my main contributing editor will be Sam. you will definitely hear from her soon. 

-crystal